Lack of connection with others not only makes us unhappy but it is also bad for the wellbeing of the body and mind, research finds.
A sense of rejection or isolation increases blood pressure, stress levels and general wear and tear as well as increases your chances of developing Alzheimer’s Disease.
It also reduces will power and perseverance, thus affecting the ability to follow a healthy lifestyle, according to scientists.
The findings were outlined by Professor John Cacioppo, of the University of Chicago, at the American Association for the Advancement of Science annual conference.
Loneliness is often experienced in many different forms. Some people are trapped in loneliness as a result of being trapped in self. This loneliness can cause severe loss of self-esteem leading to despair and confusion. Being trapped in self is very hard to understand and often the sufferer believes the problem lies outside themselves. But in reality it can be an internalized state of mind.
Loneliness that happens through being trapped in self is a state of mind that requires an inventory to dislodge. This inventory can only be helpful if it is based on self rigorous honesty. It requires honesty to break down the layers of self justification and rationalization that is both the cause and the consequence of the condition.
Very often a person is trapped in self for a very good reason, but the reason may not be known or long forgotten. To be trapped in self may be the result of a belief that that is where the person is most safe. In reality that is where a person actually may be safe but the dilemma is that needs other than safety cannot be met in this way. The sole purpose of the human ego is to keep us safe in whatever way is necessary. Once the perceived threat has passed the ego has accomplished its task successfully.
But a serious problem develops when, through trauma, we believe that the threat still exists. If this happens then the ego remains in full flight facing the imaginary threat. If the threat is experienced as coming from people then the ego will act to keep us isolated. This is the only way it knows to keep us safe.
Though we may feel psychologically safe or comforted we cannot get other needs met, needs like, companionship and intimacy, that can only be met through appropriate human interaction. Suffering this form of isolation from other human beings is what is experienced as loneliness.
Recovering from this condition requires us to recognise that the ego is fighting a battle that occurred in the past. Willingness is needed to allow yourself to move outwards towards others. This may appear risky, but to opt for a life of certainty that comes from being trapped in self is a much more futile existence.
Risking intimacy and connection to others requires courage but in reality is the only way to live that creates meaning and a satisfying way of life
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